It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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