billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
