just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
