Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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