i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
