Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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