Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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