If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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