We're like a lot better than the average bears
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize