bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
