Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
