Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize