I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize