yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize