The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
