Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
