Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
