you would pick up someone in the library
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
