WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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