3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
