guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
