Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
