I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
