i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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