I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
