So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
