i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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