The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
