Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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