He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
