real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
