I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
