bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
