paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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