At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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