I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
