I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
