after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
