I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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