He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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