You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
