you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
