Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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