So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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