even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize