i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
