Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
