I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
