My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
