So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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