I think I died a long time ago.
Quick, to the slutcave!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
