too bad you live with your parents still
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize