I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
