I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
