You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
