This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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