Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
