i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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