No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
