ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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