Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
