So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
