I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
