i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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