If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your penis caused this!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
