There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my liver is dry heaving
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
