i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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