No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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