White coat. Heels.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was not drunk enough for that final.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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