We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
