I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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