Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
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