We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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