How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
