Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
