gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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