I want to have your abortion
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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