Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
